that's not a civil war... that's a civil war.

Apparently, an effervescent county court judge from good ol' Lubbock County, Texas believes that there may be a civil war if president Obama is re-elected. I'm just paraphrasing here, but I think the direct quote was something like "if dem dere Obama Bin Laden gets re-elected, us here angry folk are gon git angrier, and ya'll ain't gon' lik us when we angriers." I wonder if he can feel it in his bones?

Now, to be sure, war is no joke. And real civil war? Why there ain't nothin' civil about it (BOOM! #wordjokes). But I think we're overlooking the real threat here. Can Americans organize an all-out civil war? mmm... doubt it. But you know who can? ROBOTS!! That's right, I'm talkin' computers and shit. Seriously.

For starters, probably like 90 percent of us stare at em' all day long! Don't you get it?! TVs, Computers, Phones, Microwaves, this blog! They're burning our retinas! Ruining our vision!! What's easier than taking over a nation of apathetic fatties? Oh, I don't know, what about about taking over a nation of near-sited apathetic fatties?!

Personally, I think we would be much better off if tall-ass Abe Lincoln had spent less time murdering vampire pilgrims and more time letting the South go ahead and secede. Then we'd all have somewhere to run when the robots attack. You know, 'cause people from the South don't know how to build robots. #roasted #hypotheticalfutureburn

i was able to conduct a brief interview with judge tom head:
me: aren't you worried about robots?
head: robots?! oh, you must be one a dem poors, boy. my bot has gots a motor on it!

Robots Don't Have Thumbs

This blog is a place where I will infrequently post my mental activity, regardless of it's relevance or quality. I will keep my revolutionary thought-spasms brief, not because I lack motivation or conviction, but because I only type with my thumbs in order to strenghten my arsenal of apposable pollicals, that human evolution has equipt me with.

My ultimate goal is that no one will read this blog. Instead, upon catching wind of the anti-tech-no-trust-olution, people will dispose of their LCD screened, superfluous, re-chargeable, anti-social crutches, cover their homes in aluminum foil, and start conversing with eachother using only their jaw muscles and vocal chords.

My penultimate goal for this blog is that when the robots finally do turn on us, and they will, I can show this to the scientists responsible, and make them eat it.

I will also pay homage to our savior-to-be, the almighty Will Smith. In the end, when the robots come to enslave or destroy us, the Royal Prince of Bel Air will protect us all....him and a lot of super soakers. Luckily for us, he'll also save us from Aliens.

Our next best defense is a biological weapon we all posess, the brain. Don't follow twitter, don't read this blog, read a book.

Good luck to us all.

==Big Willie style all init==

Here are a Few Things Not to be Trusted

Technology, science, religion, nature, government, economics, medicine, english literature, the liberal media, grammar, dragon lore, people, celebrities, animals, plants, and robots.

If you trust any of these things, I fear for your safety.

Robotics is NOT Erotic.

Dearest Innovators and Dreamers of Dreams,

You are disgusting.

Exhibit A.


Please take a moment to truly think about what you've done.

Yours Sincerely,

Ted Limpert

P.S. Bionic Boner?!? Seriously... WTF?

Robots are scary.

Come on U of R!?!

http://www.rochester.edu/news/show.php?id=3421

Have any of these people ever seen a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger or Will Smith in it?! Or perhaps a little film series called THE MATRIX!?!?!?! The Future of AI can only end in one of two scenarios: the enslavement or the destruction of all human beings.

Plus they're gonna steal all our jobs.

Make the right choice... destroy the robots before they destroy us.

Robots are not cool.

If you're reading this blog, you use technology too much.

In the end the robots will come for you first...